Monday, November 12, 2012

decker: year one

this past year has been such a crazy blur of firsts for our little family...i honestly don't know how 12 full months have gone by and yet when i think back to our lives before decker it just seems soooo long ago...

i am not gonna lie...the first couple months of mommy hood were really hard at times...it wasn't all sunshine and smiles and infatuation with my new little one...there were some days i just wanted to pull the covers back over my head in the morning and hide from him for the rest of the day...i am not ashamed to admit this because i know that this is something all new mommies go through and experience no matter what it may seem like on the outside...it doesn't make me a bad mom...it makes me REAL...

parenthood is hard...no one can prepare you for the complete overhaul your life goes through...but it does get easier and DANG does it get better...even though i haven't forgotten the fatigue, the tears, the frustration and sometimes physical pain - they aren't what i remember vividly...if i want to dig up those memories i can...but when i think about this first year, what comes soaring to the front of my mind is this:

the first time brian saw decker smile...like full blown, open mouthed, squinty eyed SMILE...i honestly
     thought my heart would explode
the way he smelled right after a bath
nursing him in the afternoon - when he was so sleepy but i was wide awake and i could enjoy every
     second...i feel so proud and amazed that he grew so much those first 6 months completely by what
     my body could produce
the way he would stick his tongue out all the time
watching him bond with bossy - even if he was upset all we had to say was "where's
     bossyyyyyy?" and he would immediately look around, lock eyes on her and get so excited
the softness of his skin and running my fingers along each and every chub roll
when he would bite down on daddy's nose thinking it was a pacifier
how we would give him a super soft stuffed animal, blanket etc and he would bury his face in it and 
     snuggle
the way he would tilt his head to one side and give us a shy little smile
seeing him start to really play with his toys and make connections with them - placing the puzzle pieces
     on top of the puzzle board, putting the plastic shapes back in the box they belong, etc.
when he discovered his walking toy and how he would push that thing all over the house
his first swim class with daddy
finding him on the floor of his nursery, "reading" books by himself and making rasberry noises
the mornings in those newborn days where i would feed him and then bring him into our bed and he
     would fall back asleep sandwiched in between us
hearing his soft little snore when he was in a deep sleep
getting him to laugh so hard it would make me cry

       
decker - our sweet boy
you have brought so much joy and an abundance of love into our lives...we have watched you grow and change so much and it's a little bittersweet that this magical first year is over...but we can't wait to see what year 2 holds for our family!  so much joy ahead  :)


6 comments:

Calvinalibra said...

That was absolutely beautiful Carissa!! We're really glad we got to hang out with you guys for his big day =) Reading this post and watching the video took me down memory lane and EVERYTHING you said, it's so true. Being a parent is such a great blessing. When I was a kid, i used to catch my mom just staring at me and now that I'm a parent myself, i totally get it. She was remembering everything you mentioned above.

James Wright said...

That was absolutely beautiful Carissa!! We're really glad we got to hang out with you guys for his big day =) Reading this post and watching the video took me down memory lane and EVERYTHING you said, it's so true. Being a parent is such a great blessing. When I was a kid, i used to catch my mom just staring at me and now that I'm a parent myself, i totally get it. She was remembering everything you mentioned above.

James Wright said...

That was absolutely beautiful Carissa!! We're really glad we got to hang out with you guys for his big day =) Reading this post and watching the video took me down memory lane and EVERYTHING you said, it's so true. Being a parent is such a great blessing. When I was a kid, i used to catch my mom just staring at me and now that I'm a parent myself, i totally get it. She was remembering everything you mentioned above.

Lauryl Lane said...

Precious! xo

Rhiannon said...

You are SUCH A great Mom, Carissa! Don't ever forget it. I know Decker loves having you as his Mommy :)

Erin said...

Just read for the first time and I'm in tears. I am so blessed to have you guys in my life. Love you all! Thank you for a reminder of what's important as Brent and I enter parenthood. Sometimes we forget.